It is not every marriage that is founded on love, not every married person who married for love. Don’t tell me you don’t know a few people who took their vows based on what they could see rather than what they felt. They stood, all dressed up in front of their Pastor, Bishop or Reverend Father and repeated the right lines rightly after the clergy, in front of men, not because they were ecstatically, deliriously in love but because they had chosen who they chose at that particular point in time for a set of particular reasons. It was a choice devoid of red roses, blue violets or purple prose.

It had nothing to do with butterflies in the girl’s tummy or uncontrollable waves of desire running down her spine. Our pretty lady had just decided that the guy was the man she wanted to live the rest of her life with. Usually, in cases like this, only the head is consulted, the heart is left outside to flutter, prance and dance wishful, wistful dance.

A man sees a girl and within minutes, days sometimes, decides that this is the woman he wants to marry, goes right ahead to propose and marry her even when his heart is protesting and her romantic friends are asking plenty of questions. Oh, don’t even bother thinking that this is about such mushy stuff as ‘love at first sight; or ‘the Lord said’ or ‘my prophet or imam told me she is the one’. No. this is about none of the above.

This is about people who choose marriage partners the same way they will choose their cars. You know how you decide that a particular car is what you are settling for? You know it is a project, one that you have painfully, sacrificially saved towards. You probably had to approach your bank for a facility to augment your savings. So you are not swayed by the fancy interior or special wheels or rims. You really do not care whether it is snow-white or ox-blood red. You are more concerned about the real stuff. So you ask the real questions.

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